RuPaul’s Drag Race Snatch Game!

What the crap is this?

What the crap is this?

There is nothing I love more than well dressed queens in shit tons of makeup causing drama and being fierce. The Snatch Game is a take on the 60s game show “Match Game,” where contestants have to match answers with celebrities to win, and do so with hilarious results. The Snatch Game is a rite of passage. The girls who make it to Snatch Game have to bring the laughs and be a real caricature of a public figure, or face the chop. The girls get READ during Snatch Game. There is no surviving it.

Snatch Game comes with a few general rules:

  1. First Rule of Snatch Game: If people don’t know who she is, you’re doing it wrong.
  2. Second Rule of Snatch Game: Do who you do best. If you are a character all the time, be that character.
  3. Third Rule of Snatch Game: You know Snatch Game is happening. Prepare before the contest even starts.
  4. Fourth Rule of Snatch Game: If you don’t know what makes that character funny, then don’t do that character.

It looks like those rules got smashed last night.

Jinx doing her best hangover chic

Jinkx doing her best hangover chic

Here’s the rundown:

In the mini-challenge, the queens were tasked with violating my favorite chilly-weather coverup and turning it into Couture. There wasn’t much notable, except that Coco Montrese lost to Detox who wore some kind of bizarro neon number from hell, and Jinkx Monsoon didn’t alter the snuggie and stumbled out like a lost Lohan sister. Jinkx mixed the point, but that didn’t hold her back.

After Snatch Game was announced, and the girls were planning their looks, we learned who would be who:

Alaska Thvnderfvck: Lady Bunny
Jinkx Monsoon: Little Edie
Ivy Winters: Marilyn Monroe
Alyssa Edwards: Katy Perry
Coco Montrese: Janet Jackson
Detox Icunt: Ke$ha
Jade Jolie: Taylor Swift
Lineysha Sparx: Michelle Obama then Celia Cruz
Roxxxy Andrews: Tamar Braxton

At first, everything seems kosher. Jinks is a strange bird doing a character so many haven’t heard of, and we sort of expect that she’ll get canned. Coco is doing Janet Jackson, a character she has done professionally for years, so we expect her to dominate the way Chad Michaels did with his professional Cher last cycle. Boy, were we wrong.

Funny and more funny and more funny

Funny and more funny and more funny

Jinks Monsoon was type EVERYTHING. I know most of you reading this don’t have a clue who Little Edie is, and I didn’t either, until now. Jinks Monsoon destroyed the competition by playing this character, and did it by succeeding where so many had failed before, with a character that few people know. She let her personality take over the competition, even stealing joke lead-ins meant for other characters who didn’t use them properly (like Ivy’s failed Marilyn missing a joke about politicians). Other notable successes were Alaska’s Lady Bunny, and Roxxxy’s extremely funny Tamar Braxton, whoever that is.

On the other hand, expected winners were letdowns. Coco’s Janet was on the ball as far as looks and voice, but she didn’t bring the funny, violating yet another unwritten Snatch Game rule. Detox’s Ke$ha was all attitude but not enough to make fun of. Ivy’s Marilyn was flat and Alyssa’s Katy Perry was just as dumb as the real thing. I completely forgot that Jade’s Taylor Swift existed until editing this article, that’s how lackluster she was. The phenomenal disaster was Lineysha Sparx and her Celia Cruz, looking like a drunken brown Carol Channing more than anything else. At one point she was kind enough to point out that her “accent is no very good looking,” a quote that the infamous artiste Theresa E advised me is “not a Celia Cruz quote.”

cocoface

Half-beat fury: way more interesting to watch than no-beat or full-beat arguing.

The drama was great in this episode. Alyssa was the target for both Jade and Coco, and both of them gave it to her real fine. Alyssa’s got a mouth on her. I love her looks and I think she’s got great skill, but she’s turning into the Phi Phi O’Hara of this cycle, all shade all the time. Even so, there is nothing funnier than watching a half-beat Coco Montrese losing his cool with orange stripes on his face.

Edie won the snatch game, as she deserved, because she was the breakout star. Lineysha and Detox were up for the elimination. Detox owned the lipsynch by using her gigantic lips to make Cher comical, and Lineysha finally went home, which makes sense, because Lineysha pretty much sucked. ¬†And frankly, who can’t love Detox when she does that jaw rattle with those ridiculous collagen pillows of hers?

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