UPDATED: Older is only better because we were younger.

 

Did you know Wayne’s World came out twenty years ago? I’ m sure whoever reads this can make a quick mental list of all the shit that has changed in the last twenty years. The curmudgeon in me wants to remember how great it was to be 8 years old and on the schoolyard using quotes from this movie (and the SNL skits) and believes that there is nothing else that can compare. That kids these days just don’t have what we had, that everything is worse now, and that our job as adults is to educate the young’ins as to what real funny is. Fortunately, the old fart in my brain is wrong.

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I am Hannah Horvath.

Every time I look at you, an LCD Soundsystem song plays in my heart.

I am Hannah Horvath.

I am a creative woman in my twenties who lives in New York.  I am a young woman who was molded by the protective and imaginary environment known as “College.” I was told to go forth and create amazing works and be the dream I paid thousands of dollars for. I am currently in a situation that forces me to be thriftier than I ever have before. My sexual history is an erratic mashup of dissatisfying and ultimately awkward sexual and romantic encounters. I am often focused on whether or not people like me instead of figuring out whether or not I like I really like them. I have the grandiose belief that I am the voice of my generation. I have no independent confirmation of this belief. My clothes wear me more than I wear my clothes. I am aware of my attractiveness yet hateful of its faults. I am self-absorbed.  I am an idiot.

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I Am Not a Purist

I am not a purist. I should define what I think a purist is. To me a purist is someone who always believes the original is better than the remake, and that some things are sacred and should never be changed. A movie purist is someone who believes the new Star Trek wasn’t good because it wasn’t campy. A television purist is the guy who thought House M.D. jumped the shark when the original team left at the end of season 3. It wasn’t. It was when Kutner killed himself so Kal Penn could work in politics. Anyway, purists think the book is always better than the movie. That all cover songs are bad, or at least not as good as the originals. Or maybe that changing the opening credits signals the beginning of a show’s downfall, or losing a principal character is a death sentence. I’ve fallen into the trap of believing these things, but not anymore.

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MOON NAZIS ARE COMING

Typical day in Manhattan

Imagine if Mel Brooks did create Jews in Space like at the end of History of the World Pt. 1, and he needed to create an antagonist to fly through space to attack them.  And that antagonist, being cut off from the world since the end of World War II, still continued to evolve technologically, without the need for global communications, and with a lust for total world domination. We shall call them Space Nazis.

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